Brainwashed by Love Songs

I am such a sap for anything romantic. Jane Austen books are definitely my favorite. Do I like chick flicks? I have seen You've Got Mail and The Wedding Planner more times than I can count. I can endure unentertaining movies if they have a romantic plot line in any form. And don't get me started on music... there are so many great love songs, both old ones and new ones. 

But I have come to realize that life is not like High School Musical, Northanger Abbey, or even Anne of Green Gables. Boys don't say the perfect lines like they do in movies, and in my experience so far I have never been written a love song letting me know that I am everything to someone, that he can't stop thinking about me.

I think in junior high I always thought that things would be different in high school. It wasn't. So I figured that it would be different in college. It isn't. Not that I am not optimistic about the future. I have not by any means become a cynic on this subject, but I am slowly being drawn out of my fairy tale mentality by jolts of reality. 

It's frustrating as a girl sometimes. I can like a guy all I want, but unless he makes the first move nothing will happen. And I am not one to throw myself at a guy. I have a lot of guy friends, the majority of whom are single. Not that that is a bad thing, but I feel like they have all liked different girls but never done anything about it. I don't expect for everyone to be in relationships, but I guess I do want to see that there are still guys who can be men, even if it doesn't involve me. This being-just-friends-and-sending-vibes-that-mean-nothing is annoying.

I completely believe and trust in God's sovereignty, that if it is meant to happen it will, but I have a hard time being content the way I am when the media causes me to daydream so much. I want someone to tell me that "it's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off you" ("You and Me," Lifehouse) and "the first time that I looked in your eyes I knew that I would do anything for you." ("Your Everything," Keith Urban)

More than that, though, I want to be CONTENT where God has me. I want to enjoy those days where I am daydreaming (because that can be fun), but at the end of the day I want to be okay with this stage of my life, be okay with not knowing whether or not a guy likes me, and not knowing when any of this will happen. It's a learning process. But I am growing.