looking back

Today was my last day of class as a junior. Ahead of me are two finals and a project presentation, none of which I am very worried about. Probably because I took my last Greek test yesterday and that was quite a milestone in itself. After four semesters of perseverance, of wanting to give up, of wondering why I chose this foreign language, I have completed it. I don't regret choosing Ancient Greek - taking New Testament Greek last semester definitely outweighed all of the negatives. And I feel that I have really accomplished something However, I am very thankful that I will no longer spend two hours/night on homework for one specific class. I will not be constantly repeating verb principle parts in my head. I will not be reminding myself of noun endings over and over before quizzes. I will miss the community I found in that class. We had about 25 students our first semester and were down to nine this past spring. I spent a large portion of my time with those people, and it really strengthened some of my previously-existing friendships in that class.

It's hard to believe that this school year is over. I am amazed and thankful for the many ways God blessed me this year. I am so grateful for the opportunities I have had to serve within Campus Crusade, and so humbled by the amount of influence that Lord has given me. The girls I have built a relationship with mean so much to me, and each has been a huge encouragement in my life.

I personally have grown so much as well. I definitely have learned to keep myself accountable when it comes to following through and stepping out. I have been challenged to live in such a way that others can see it and more clearly see Who God is. I have discovered the capacity for loving people whom I barely know and being burdened with wanting to see them grow and understand the fullness of joy that is found in Christ.

2 Corinthians 4:1 has really been a cornerstone for me this past year: "Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart." It is through nothing of myself that I have been put in the positions that I have, and it is through nothing of myself that I have the capability to fulfill those responsibilities. Later in 2 Corinthians 4 it says, "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." Amen.

There is so much ahead of me over the next few months. I will return to Conway for less than a week, then go down to Louisiana for a friend's wedding, then head off to Alaska! I am anxious to get started on this journey, and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me. I am praying that I will be challenged and convicted and pushed and transformed into more of the woman God is calling me to be. I want to see God do awesome things, and I want to be open to being used by him in a new environment.

Then, in the fall, I will be a senior in college. There is no way I feel old enough to be in my last year of school, and especially not preparing to make all of the decisions that come with graduation. I have ideas of what I will be doing with my life, but honestly I can't make any plans. For the past couple of years, I have been so sure of where I think I am called, and I am so sure that it makes sense from God's perspective. However, that's always when He changes the direction of my life. And every time He does, I am so thankful for it. I have just had to learn to write my life plans in pencil so that they can be erased and rewritten. That or invest in a big bottle of white out.