Acceptance-with-Joy

I just finished the book Hinds' Feet on High Places, and it was incredible. It's part of the reason that I am WAY behind in school reading, but God used it to move my heart and illustrate what I am going through in my life, as well as how He wants me to respond. There were many points in the book when I wanted to cry, either because I felt Much-Afraid's pain or God revealed a new side to my experiences and my desires and things I have bought into. I don't/can't cry in books (or movies, for that matter), so no tears were shed, but it was a wonderful feeling.

I wanted to share a passage from the "Detour Through the Desert" chapter, since Hannah Hurnard aptly describes my life at a point where I cannot do it myself. The basic plot is that the main character, Much-Afraid, is on a journey to the high places where she will be given hinds' feet (like the feet of a deer) and a new name - basically, Christian allegory for freedom in Christ. At this point, in the desert, she is following the path told to her by the Chief Shepherd but it seems to be leading away from her desired destination.

"He was leading her away from her heart's desire altogether and gave no promise at all as to when he would bring her back. As she looked out over what seemed an endless desert, the only path she could see led farther and farther away from the High Places, and it was all desert.

Then, he answered very quietly, 'Much-Afraid, do you love me enough to accept the postponement and the apparent contradiction of the promise, and to go down there with me into the desert?'

She was still crouching at his feet, sobbing as if her heart would break, but now she looked up through her tears, caught his hand in hers, and said, trembling, 'I do love you, you know that I love you. Oh, forgive me because I can't help my tears. I will go down with you into the wilderness, right away from the promise, if you really wish it. Even if you cannot tell me why it has to be, I will go with you, for you know I do love you, and you have the right to choose for me anything that you please.'

...She said to herself, 'He has brought me here when I did not want to come for his own purpose. I, too, will look up into his face and say, 'Behold me! I am thy little handmaiden, Acceptance-with-Joy!"