Beautiful Shards of Glass

I don't know if Ken said something about it at the beginning of his sermon this morning or the idea just popped in my head, but today I have been thinking about how my life is like a mosaic. There have been some tough and seemingly pointless situations, like shards of glass, that don't really seem to fit, yet in the end I know that they are creating a masterpiece.

In junior high and high school, I went through so much drama with friends. I have never been one to attract the typical high school drama, but I dealt with friends backstabbing me, friends moving, friends who decided that they didn't want to be a friend, etc. but it is so cool to see how each circumstance led to a maturity in me or a further realization of the nature of God. Because of these various circumstances, I learned that

• My relationship with other people should never be placed above my relationship with God.
• God is there in the lonely times.
• God's timing really is perfect.
• You should choose your friends wisely because you will become like them.
• God uses those circumstances to not only build and mature you, but also so that you can have an impact in others' lives (something I have fully realized this summer and I still stand in awe of).

One circumstance at the end of my senior year plain seemed unfair and to no purpose. I had no idea why God would let it happen to me or why I would lose something so important to me, but because of it He revealed a weakness in me that I knew was there but never really bothered to acknowledge. God showed me an insecurity that caused me to always second-guess my friends, thinking that they were just putting up with me then when I was out of the room they talked about how they didn't really want to be my friends. I acted like that for years, and when a situation came where someone claimed that to be an actual case, I fell into despair. I went to camp two weeks later and God just worked on my heart. He showed me that I thought the same thing about all the people I was working with, even though they were delighted that I was there and were looking forward to getting to know me. I have overcome this insecurity and, although it still tries to nip at my heels, I am prepared because I know that Satan attacks this "Achilles tendon" in my life. And God is my strength where I am weak.

The coolest part of that situation is that a girl was in my cabin this summer who went through almost the exact same thing. She told me later that she had never listened to people trying to give her advice before because they hadn't been through what she had been through and she thought she was the only one. Surprise, surprise when she was in my cabin and I shared with her my experience! God used it in a miraculous way and I can now say I am thankful for what He has done through that.

Currently, I am venturing into a world I have not been exposed to, and it is frightening. I was trying to analyze it and figure it all out one night when God seemed to whisper at me "Stop." What? Stop trying to understand and make my plans? "Yes. Stop. You are not meant to know everything. And because you don't know everything, you need to give the circumstance to me." Wow. That was hard. But I think one of the most incredible feelings is to be in the middle of something that is difficult or confusing or unknown and already begin to see the fruits of how God is using it in your life. I am sure that there is more that is unseen, but it is so encouraging to know you are growing. Difficult circumstances may equal pain, but at the same time they mean growth and growth means getting closer to becoming the person that God has for you to be. 

This was meant to be focused on the mosaic idea. But it ended up being a summary of God's work in my life. And now the mosquitos and ants are biting at my feet, so I am going to end this and quickly head inside.