No More False Self!

John and Stasi Eldredge's books are awesome. I love their points of view and the way that they get their message across to their audience. I am currently reading The Sacred Romance, written by John along with Brent Curtis. I want to include a few quotes from this book as well as Captivating (written by John and Stasi - a must-read!) that have resonated with me recently, especially because of my freedom I got this summer and as I strive to walk in that freedom, being back at school.

(from The Sacred Romance)

"It is a rare soul indeed who has been sought after for who she is - not because of what she can do, or what others can gain from her, but simply for herself."

"Most of us are living out a script that someone else has written for us. We've not been invited to live from our heart, to be who we truly are, so we put on these false selves hoping to offer something more acceptable to the world, something functional."

**"The awful burden of the false self is that it must be constantly maintained."**

(from Captivating)

"Think of the great stories-in nearly all of them, the villain goes after the Hero's true love... Most of you thought the things that have happened to you were somehow your fault-that you deserved it... Most of you are living with the guilt that somehow it's your fault you aren't more deeply pursued now... It changes things to realize that, no, it is because you are glorious that these things have happened. It is because you are a major threat to the kingdom of darkness. Because you uniquely carry the glory of God to the world. You are hated [by Satan] because of your beauty and power."

"God went back and got the shaking little girl that was hiding under the bed and convinced her to come out. He unclenched her little fists and took her hand and placed it in his and answered her question. He held her and told her it was OK for her not to be tough. He would protect her. She didn't have to be strong. He told her she wasn't a rock but a child. An innocent child. His child. He didn't condemn her for anything but instead understood her and loved her! He told her she was special... like no other and that she had special gifts like no other. She knew his voice and trusted him. She could hear the pleasure He had for her in His voice and felt His delight in her as He talked. He was so gentle and loving she couldn't help but melt in His arms."

That last one is one of my favorites because I relate to the little girl - I have felt my whole life that I had to be tough and that to show weakness and be vulnerable was wrong. But I am slowly learning to let go. Especially around others. I could show God my weaknesses, but no one else could know about them. I didn't want to seem incompetent. So I made this image of myself being able to tough anything out, but like John wrote in The Sacred Romance, it's a burden to maintain your false self, and when I let go of it this summer, I felt such a freedom.

And I keep wanting to go on autopilot while I am back at school and be just like I was. Everything is fine. I can do this. But the truth is, the last week has been tough. Not unbearable, but it has been so different from last year, and I loved last year. But I have really started to understand that I need to change my attitude and my perspective, as well as tell my friends that it is tough. Let them know how I feel about them being off-campus and how it's harder for me. Not take the mindset that they don't care (which is what I tend to do, think that others don't care about my problems so I shouldn't share with them), but take the mindset of someone who doesn't expect everything to be perfect but can be open enough to let others know when she is struggling and needs encouragement.

This post was kind of random, but I haven't written in a week and there has been a lot going on in my head.