I'm Clumsy - It's a Known Fact

It's incredible how, the more God breaks me and cuts me down, the stronger I feel.

Ever since I read The Ragamuffin Gospel God continues to remind me that I am in constant need of His grace. It's so neat how God speaks to me. It's not in an audible voice; it's through REPETITION. It seems sermons at church, Bible study, Cru, worship all tell me the same thing. I am constantly reminded of my imperfections, and though it's humbling it's encouraging; God is still working on me, and He is no where near finished.

At Cru this past week we sang "Come to Jesus." The second verse says:

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall
So fall on Jesus...

I was thinking about that analogy as I sang it - it's so awesome that God knows we will mess up and He will catch us. It's really encouraging for new believers, especially - "baby" Christians. Then I heard a voice in my head saying Yeah, it's okay for babies to fall. But you are a more mature Christian. You grew up in church, going to a Christian school - you should be past the falling stage. Almost immediately after, it seemed like God was telling me "Excuse me. Think back to this afternoon. You fell up the stairs. Don't believe me? Check those bruises on your knees and shins. You aren't still learning to walk, yet you fell."

It hit me that though I am more mature in my faith than I was when I was a baby Christian, I am still going to mess up. Much of the time I try SO HARD to live the "good Christian life" and to be more like Christ; and whenever I mess up, I tend to get frustrated with myself: "Why can't I get this patience thing down?" or "Why did I say that when I know it's wrong?" But being a Christian and having that life transformation is not about what I can do - it started with what Christ did on the cross while I was helpless, unable to do anything. Christianity is not about me striving trying to be perfect, because the Bible clearly states that I won't be. Without Christ, I am spiritually bankrupt - I cannot make it on my own.

And realizing that, bringing my life to Christ, and entrusting Him to get me through -- that's freeing. My bruises are almost gone, but I know that it's only a matter of time before I fall again. And when I do, I will bring it all back to Him to let Him be glorified through my weaknesses.